Time is a funny thing.
Sometimes manageable and nearly tangible, but mostly pressing and out of our grasp. Days flow in and out of one another, regardless of our will for them to do so.
For some of us, deadlines are a motivating factor. For others, it adds to the weight that time already carries. Ever full schedules cause us to wonder: Is there time enough?
He proposed on May 24th. The wedding date was set for September 1st. This meant three months and one week to plan, decide, order and organize. Time was precious, to say the least.
At the time, I was working full-time at a local cafe and bakery. Being one of the most popular cafes in the Boston, it was filled with endless lines, never-ending latte orders and not-so-gracious customers. While the fast-paced environment was exhilarating, especially once I found a rhythm, the end of the day often left me with the physical and mental energy for little more than a nap, a shower and a warm bowl of curry.
Yet here I was, less than three months away from the wedding day, with so much to do and so much to think about. Were the groomsmen going to wear suspenders? Did we really want to spend a fortune on renting wooden tables? Are the bridesmaids’ dresses burgundy or deep red? Should we invite the extended family or keep it small?
The more I planned, the more I realized how much needed to be done.
Some days felt heavier than others with other commitments and the necessary time with friends. The fear of losing time often deterred me from focusing on the few details that, looking back on it now, I would have changed. The anxiety of finding time for everything took more time and energy than the planning would have taken. Throughout this exhausting and exhilarating process, I was reminded again of a simple and timeless truth (no pun intended): there is a time for everything.
Throughout this exhausting and exhilarating process, I was reminded again of a simple and timeless truth: there is a time for everything.
Sometime in July, my fiance and I decided to take a day to rest. No work, no planning—do only what was life-giving. As we lay on the couch watching movies and listening to the rain, I was amazed by how difficult it was to allow my mind and body the space to slow down. My thoughts constantly drifted back to the florist I had yet to contact or our reception playlist.
In spite of my mental restlessness, however, that summer day lead me back to the truth that each moment doesn’t need to be filled with productivity. My mind needed—and needs—rest. The flow of time can be trusted, more often than I allowed it.
A time for everything.
Those words are so wrapped in grace, a grace I am still learning to move in throughout every area of my life. Time, I’ve learned, is not the enemy unless you let it be. There is a time to eat slowly and a time for conversations to linger late into the night. There is a time to finish that book, to begin a new project, to plan a wedding and to work full-time. Time is not against you or I. It is meant to be our tool.
Time is not against you or I. It is meant to be our tool.
In the end, our day was so special, filled with lots of dancing, tears and our favorite people in the world. The overlooked details didn’t steal the magic we felt that day. Yet, so much anxiety would have been avoided if I had remembered that time was never meant to be carried as a burden.
There is grace enough. There is time enough.
Have you had a busy season when you need to learn to show yourself grace? How did you learn to make time for yourself?
Images via Megan Galante, Darling Issue No. 24